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Why My Friends Split Up

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up, $150.00 for a cut and color, $30.00 for a manicure, $40.00 for a pedicure, $50.00 on vitamins, $300.00 on clothes and $600.00 for a gym membership.

I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.
She said she needed it to look pretty for me.

I told her that's what the beer was for.

I don't think she's coming back...

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"In disturbing medical news, a new study of 1,000 Americans finds that obesity in the United States has gotten so bad that there actually were, upon closer scrutiny, only 600 Americans involved in the study." -- Dave Barry

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