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Idiot's Guide To Sex.....

IN - OUT *Repeat as often as possible*

A condominium is NOT the smallest size they make.

If your wife tells you sex is a 'pain in the ass,' turn her over.

A threesome does not mean letting the dog watch you use both hands.

A porn shop will not give you money for your used stuff, that's a pawn shop.

Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a church.

If she says "doggy style," Do NOT whip down to the local SPCA.

Kama Sutra is not a martial art, therefore don't tell your lover that you have a black belt in it.

Well-endowed is not a reference to the size of your bank account.

If your stomach hurts it is not an orgasm, more likely indigestion or appendicitis.

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Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office. -- David Broder

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