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Act of God
There once was a rabbi, whose wife was expecting a baby.
He went to the congregation and asked for a raise. They passed a rule that when the rabbi's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation held a meeting about this. As you can imagine, there was much yelling and discussion.
The rabbi gets up to the bima and speaks "Having children is an act of GOD!"
A little man in the back rises and says, "Point of information... snowing and raining are an act of GOD, but we wear rubbers!"
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With my wife, nothing comes easy. When I want sex, she leaves the room to give me privacy. -- Rodney Dangerfield
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